TSA is up to it again, probing all you mother fuckers, scanning your dicks, feeling your tits and trying to make your lame ass little business trip from Duluth, MN to Billings, Montana and absolute nightmare. Many of you weekday warriors may be feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the hustle and bustle.
"What happens if I miss my flight and I cant make my retarded presentation about why a room full of dickhead knobs should buy stainless steel screws from me instead of cheap ones from China" - is a commonly over heard airport question.
To help everyone out I've compiled a list of some Do's and Dont's. For dolts I have put the list in chronological order from when one walks into the airport, till you leave.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
JUST DO ME
Lets not beat around the bush on the concept of this blog. I am after one and only thing, which is the gold mine that is internets money. It has become impossible for me to watch douchebags ramble all over the internets about absolute virgin topics while simultaneously raking in the cash. "Oh did you hear about this sick ass movie" "ohhhh mannnn i fucked that chick so hard, but not until after me and my bros house a bottle of Stoli" or my favorite "did you hear about that sick ass 7th grade hoop star??!@?$Q?! he says hes going to NORTH CAROLINA!!! FUCKKKK YEAH!!!!"
Do I have a real fancy business plan as to how I'm going to obtain this internet fortune? No chance.
Do I so much as have a general theme about this blog and what direction it may head? Fuck no.
Do I have any idea about how to stylize a blog or write internet code or may fancy bullshit on Adobe Fireworks or whatever the fuck the new java script is? NO.
I spend enough of my virgin time on twitter trying to make funny, stupid, mundane fucking jokes that if I spent any amount of time whatsoever trying to figure out C++ code so I could write a fucking blog my cock would shrivel up inside myself.
So could this be the first and last post of all time? Yes. Will it be? Probably.
I do however have one idea, one place to start. And it revolves around Hilary Swank and other female hollywood celebrities to be named later. And which one would be most desirable to share a bathroom stall with while you both grunt out massive dumps. There are no rules, as to why you choose what you do. Maybe id really like to hear what sort of dump Reese Witherspoon would offload, on the flip side I could be convinced that Maggie Gylenhaal has Crohn's disease and thats my inspiration to poop next to her. Im not sure. But im gonna break it down, here in my own little tiny space of the interwebs. So I guess I might be able to make it to post #2.
Do I have a real fancy business plan as to how I'm going to obtain this internet fortune? No chance.
Do I so much as have a general theme about this blog and what direction it may head? Fuck no.
Do I have any idea about how to stylize a blog or write internet code or may fancy bullshit on Adobe Fireworks or whatever the fuck the new java script is? NO.
I spend enough of my virgin time on twitter trying to make funny, stupid, mundane fucking jokes that if I spent any amount of time whatsoever trying to figure out C++ code so I could write a fucking blog my cock would shrivel up inside myself.
So could this be the first and last post of all time? Yes. Will it be? Probably.
I do however have one idea, one place to start. And it revolves around Hilary Swank and other female hollywood celebrities to be named later. And which one would be most desirable to share a bathroom stall with while you both grunt out massive dumps. There are no rules, as to why you choose what you do. Maybe id really like to hear what sort of dump Reese Witherspoon would offload, on the flip side I could be convinced that Maggie Gylenhaal has Crohn's disease and thats my inspiration to poop next to her. Im not sure. But im gonna break it down, here in my own little tiny space of the interwebs. So I guess I might be able to make it to post #2.
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| Is this how the Swank monster would mount a public toilet? |
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